An article by Iain Reg Grundy on LinkedIn made me think about the confident leaders that we want to be around and what it is that makes them so. This created a very interesting discussion in my Effortless Leader Facebook group recently.
Of course, there are probably way more than 6 traits but these are the ones that sprang immediately to mind for me.
One – The most confident person in the room often says the least but listens forensically to what is being said.
And what they say is laser sharp/focused or shifts the energy or the conversation in the room.
Two – The most confident person can ask a question or make an observation that hits the spot whilst everybody else is waffling on, repeating what someone else said or interrupting everyone else.
Three – The confident person can ‘out’ the elephant in the room that everyone else is dancing around without pointing fingers or shaming others.
Four – The confident person can ask exactly the right question at exactly the right moment that produces an insight, an idea or an action that is exactly what is needed amongst the indecision or group-think.
Five – The confident person might speak quietly. But we know that what they say is likely to be hugely valuable so we make extra effort to listen.
Six – The confident person can say ‘I don’t know – yet’.
The confident person is by no means perfect. But that doesn’t matter. Because ‘good enough’ is all that is needed most of the time and they know it.
The most confident leader takes credit for what he or she did as well as what the team did – I notice women often struggling to do that as it was ‘a team effort’. Well – you are the leader of said team so own it!
On the other hand,…. humblebragging (all over LinkedIn, I find) strikes me as a bit needy and even a bit desperate and meh.
If we need external validation all the time to feel confident it’s probably time to do some personal work on our inner critic.
Not that we don’t hugely value appreciation, praise and thanks – of course we do! But if our identity is tied up in how others see us it, then it’s fragile and can be knocked down in an instant.
I’d love to learn more about the confident leaders you want to be around and how they show up.
P.S. I think it was Simon Sinek who said that confidence smiles and arrogance smirks which I really like!
P.P.S. Helping leaders find true confidence is my superpower. Get in touch if you’d like to find out more.