The email didn’t ruin your evening. (Although it feels that way)

You read it once. Then again. Then you start analysing it. What did she mean by that? What is she trying to say? What does this mean about me? How bloody dare she! 

By the third read, you are no longer reading the actual words. You are building a case for the defence. You try to switch off and let it go, but you can’t. Those written words are going round and round in your brain like a broken record.

By the time you go to bed, that email has come to mean something big, important, huge.  Something it was never meant to be.

Next morning, you’re still on edge. Still thinking about a few lines that should have taken no more than five minutes of your time.

It wasn’t the email itself.

It was everything you made it mean. The story you told yourself. The assumptions you made, the image you created of a dozen fingers pointing accusingly in your direction.

So breathe.  Read it again. Out loud. With a kind tone. With a caring tone. Or imagine the person you most love sent these same words to you.

Would you still make it mean the same thing?  Maybe, maybe not.

We often struggle to see others’ perspectives. And when we have a ‘difficult’ relationship with someone, we tend to read every email from them as ‘difficult’.  And of course vice versa – we’re much more forgiving of a clumsily worded message from someone we like.

So press delete or make a call – ‘can we talk about that email? I’d love to explore our different perspectives on this‘.

How grown-up is that?!

To your success always.

P.S. Same applies to WhatsApp messages, Teams notifications and just about everything else!