The Cost of Being the Nice One in Charge 🤝👩‍💼😓

I see this time and time again.

When you hold the line cleanly for the first time, it might not feel ‘nice.’ It can feel uncomfortable. Nerve-wracking, even. People may push back. Someone may decide you have changed and ‘not in a good way’. You may lie awake wondering if you went too far.

Growth is rarely an easy ride.

A newly promoted leader avoids confronting underperformance because she wants to be liked by her new team. She tells herself everyone is busy, so she’ll make allowances. Six months later, she’s created the proverbial rod for her own back

A senior leader keeps smoothing everything over for the CEO so her department (and she) always appears on top of things. She is praised for her competence and organisation. Meanwhile, her managers do not develop and her evenings are spent churning through emails and Teams notifications, whilst her partner wonders what happened to the carefree woman he married.

This is how we give away our power every single day.

We need to stop pretending power belongs only to those at the top or those who abuse it loudly. We need to stop thinking that power equals bullying or dominance or arrogance.

Power is in the moment you name what others are skirting around.
Power is in the silence after you ask, “What do you propose?”
Power is in letting someone feel the weight of their own decisions.

It may create discomfort.

Good.

If you try to keep everything comfortable, you do not create psychological safety. You create stagnation.

Low standards do not sustain themselves. They are maintained. Implicitly or explicitly. Often by the most capable person in the room.