The ‘being impressive’ paradox

You’ll recognise this scenario: you walk into your meeting still reeling, angry or upset from what happened in the last one. Or you’re still annoyed about that email you read half an hour ago. Or you’re replaying something you said earlier and wishing you’d handled it differently. Maybe you felt dismissed. Or talked over. Or slightly exposed, and it’s still gnawing away at you.

So you arrive in the next conversation mid-thought, mid-feeling, mid-somewhere else entirely. Still triggered.

You want to be professional, so you rearrange your face. You contribute. You respond.

But part of you is elsewhere. Tense, distracted, still processing.

And people sense that. 

They won’t say anything, necessarily, but they’ll experience you as less certain. Less grounded. Maybe even less present than you would usually be. 

That’s the thing about presence. It has nothing to do with charisma or being impressive in a room full of people.

Presence is simply about being present.

When you’re present, your head is clear.  All those mental tabs in your brain are shut down, so they don’t distract you. You’re grounded enough that you can sit in silence and not need to fill it. And you don’t find yourself thinking out loud in an incoherent way or waffling, over-explaining or editing yourself mid-sentence.

It sounds simple. It is simple. It just isn’t what most people are doing – I mean, just look around you!

When you set your intention to be present, you will be present.  If you’re between conversations or meetings, notice what you might be holding on to and make a conscious decision not to drag it unchecked into the next conversation.

So, yes, those breathing exercises work.  A bit of dancing, stretching and moving around – they all help, too.

That’s the habit. And like most habits, it takes practice.  Until it’s just something you do.

You’ll find that when you do it consistently, you stand taller. You’re crisper and clearer. You look like someone who knows exactly who they are and what they bring.

And that’s way more impressive than trying too hard to be impressive!