Don’t pick a side – change the game

I hate those tedious meetings that feel like a battleground.

People interrupt each other. Score points. Cover their backsides.

And the loudest voices win.

But nothing gets resolved. Everyone leaves feeling more tired and irritable than when they arrived.

There’s more conflict than collaboration; navigating it all can feel impossible.

You’re not interested in the blame game and don’t want to add to the noise. You just want to get the job done.

But you’re sick of sitting silently watching the same dysfunctional patterns play out.

So here’s a question: How do you lead powerfully  in that space without becoming part of the chaos?

These are three things that will get you started.

Hold the room to a higher standard. Instead of pushing your point, name the pattern: “It feels like we’re going off track here. What decision do we need to make in this room today ?” People generally shut up when someone calmly and non-judgementally reminds them of their purpose.

Shift the energy from defensiveness to curiosity. Try, “What are we not saying that needs to be said?” or “What’s the hesitation behind that ‘no’?” or “Could you say a bit more to help us understand your perspective?”  Not to catch people out but to open the space. There’s something powerful about being the voice in the room that’s missing.

Be the grounded one. When people get louder, you don’t need to match them. The leader who can hold their ground without raising their voice often becomes the one others look to –  because they’re creating safety in a room that doesn’t have it.

The quietly confident leaders don’t avoid conflict. But they do know how to shift the conversation towards something more useful.