Changing the Default: An Empowering Experiment

I recently undertook a 30-day writing challenge, pushing myself to experiment with different styles, including more metaphorical language. This journey has been both enjoyable and challenging. It left me frustrated when the words didn’t flow. Yet, as always, inspiration often strikes when we least expect it.

This led me to reflect on our habitual patterns. The defaults we unconsciously slip into. Stepping outside of these familiar confines can yield incredible insights and opportunities for growth.

Consider this a call to action.

For example, think about your behaviour in meetings. Do you typically leave meetings thinking, “I talked too much,” or “I wish I’d spoken up?”

Many of us fall into predictable patterns in specific situations. Some of us immediately fill every silence, even before we’ve fully thought through our responses. We might misinterpret silence as a lack of questions or assume we haven’t explained ourselves well enough, prompting us to elaborate, often driving people mad in the process.

Conversely, you might hold back. Censor yourself. Wait for the perfect moment to speak, often missing your chance entirely and regretting it.

These patterns can hinder your impact, influence, and clarity. Too much noise may cause others to disengage, while too much silence can prevent your valuable insights from being shared.

Identify your default pattern, then flip the script in your next meeting or conversation.

If you’re always the first to speak, count to seven before you say a word. Observe what unfolds. Allow another voice to emerge in the discussion. Alternatively, you might express your intention: “I’m going to hold back and hear what others think first.”

If you tend to hang back, speak up early with just one thought – It doesn’t need to be polished, clever or perfect. Try: “I have a thought forming here; can I share it?” Keep it simple. This is about creating a new pattern, not delivering a monologue.

Try it out and see how you feel afterwards.

To your success always.