Break free from Self-Doubt. Here’s how

Patterns don’t come out of nowhere. And self-doubt is a pattern.

I grew up with an alpha male father and a mother who danced around his moods. Disagreement was futile, so I learned early that survival meant appeasement: Stay small. Stay safe. Don’t challenge. Don’t feel too much. And definitely don’t be too much.

Maintaining the peace and not rocking the boat became my modus operandi.

That wiring doesn’t disappear just because you appear to do well in life, get a promotion, or have a fancy title.

It showed up hard in my first senior leadership role.

I didn’t feel equal to my peers. I didn’t feel ready.

When I had something important to say, I either backed down or got overwhelmed by emotion. My voice never seemed to land the way I wanted it to. So I hid – behind long hours, ‘safe’ tasks, tweaking things that didn’t need tweaking.

I looked competent on the outside.

I was competent. But inside, I was paralysed by what-ifs.

I loved my job and was good at it. But I would have been happier and even more effective if I had found a way to overcome all that time-wasting, energy-sapping doubt.

On one level, I knew there must be a way because the self-doubt wasn’t with me 100% of the time – just in certain situations and with certain people.

Then another wave hit when I started my coaching business, despite being blessed with a lot of work and interesting clients.

It hit me again when I coached my first CEO. (The last thing a CEO needs is a deferential coach, so this was a ‘big girl panties’ moment for me.)

Being an expert and being extremely good at what you do doesn’t mean you never wobble.

But here’s what makes the biggest difference:

The most successful leaders (and coaches) know how to move through the wobble without being completely derailed. They can separate what’s true from the BS stories they tell themselves.

The turning point for me?

A very skilled coach and psychotherapist said to me, back in 2001,

‘There’s a reason you’ve been like this. No judgement. But you can choose to change it.’

Can I? Really? Isn’t it ‘just the way I am?

A big fat NO to that.

Back then, we knew little about neuroplasticity. Understanding our ‘wiring’ and how to change it wasn’t widely known in the corporate world.

But that comment was the start of my liberation. It felt so much lighter, freeing and hopeful.

Since then?

I’ve refined tools, developed frameworks and experiments – and helped countless leaders who look successful on the outside but are stuck in familiar doom loops inside.

And before you think,

“This is just a disguised sales pitch,”

Let me be clear: it’s not. 

This is a truth-telling.

 A calling-out of what too many leaders carry quietly, assuming they’re the only ones.

You’re not ridiculous.

You’re not weak.

You’re succeeding on many levels.

But you might be stuck.

And you don’t have to be.

When you’re ready to move through it, really move – not just talk about it – I’ve got the tools, the process and the expertise to help.

I can sniff out very quickly where you’re getting in your own way.

If you want comfort-zone coaching, cheerleading and ‘poor you’ platitudes, I’m probably not the right coach for you.

If you want simplistic affirmations like ‘just believe in yourself’, I’m probably not for you, either.

But if you want a compassionate and honest no-fluff guide who gets it and knows how to help you shift whatever’s in your way.

I’m here when you’re ready.

Because there’s so much more that’s waiting for you on the other side.

To your success always.