It’s not you; it’s the culture you’re navigating.

If you’ve ever questioned your confidence at work, ask yourself this:

What kind of behaviour does your organisation actually reward?

And I don’t mean the behaviour it pays lip-service too.

Is it careful, reflective thinking?
Or fast, loud certainty?

Is it asking good questions and listening well?
Or appearing to have all the answers?

Is it calm presence?
Or performative posturing?

There’s something I see all the time.

Many leaders – especially women – think they have a confidence problem.

But they’re operating in a culture that doesn’t know how to value the way they lead.

It’s not that you’re not confident.
It’s that the system rewards something else.

Louder voices.
Quicker decisions.
Ego and d**k waving.

And so you start to wonder if maybe you’re the issue.

Maybe you need to speak up more (even if it’s just for the sake of it).
Bang your fists on the table a bit more.
Interrupt and talk over everybody – just like ‘they’ do.

But that’s not confidence. That’s adaptation. (And the cognitive dissonance when you act in ways that you don’t, in your heart, believe are right is draining.)

And while there’s nothing wrong with learning to flex—
There’s a cost to constantly contorting yourself to fit a culture that doesn’t recognise your strengths.

You can learn to influence in environments not designed for you – without becoming someone you’re not.

You can also know when the culture genuinely needs to shift and find the tools, allies, and voice to make those changes.

Quiet leaders aren’t necessarily less confident. 

They’re quietly powerful –  when they know how.