There’s been a bit of a theme in the team coaching and 1-1 work I’ve been doing this last couple of months and I wanted to share it with you.
It’s this – we say we want people to contribute, to share ideas, to challenge our thinking – and yet we do just about everything to stop this from happening. Quite unintentionally, of course.
Here’s a couple of recent examples:
For many of us, the summer holidays can’t come soon enough. And yet you know that there’s a huge amount to be done before you leave for your much-needed break…. And much as you need to totally relax when you’re away, you just KNOW that there will be things you ‘have’ to deal with from your sunbed, mountain or lake…..
You know what? It really doesn’t have to be this way.
Last week I wrote about the importance of building a firm foundation when you lead or join a new team.
This is not a ‘one off’ exercise but it doesn’t have to mean you spend days and days off-site unless you choose to.
I’m currently working with three senior teams who have had quite significant changes to their ‘membership.’ One has a new leader, the other two don’t but the ‘make-up’ of the team has shifted quite significantly.
They all have a massive amount of ‘stuff’ which needs their attention. But if they focus on that only, at the expense of building the team from the ground up, they could run into difficulties later.
It saddens me that so many people with really valuable and useful things to say don’t get heard. And yet the verbose, self-aggrandising wafflers get plenty of airtime!
It saddens me because when I first became a senior leader, I struggled to get my voice heard too. And when we are often brought up to believe that it is ‘rude to interrupt’ (is it? Always?) it can be a real struggle to speak out.
Here are 5 reasons your voice is not being heard – and what to do about it:
You’re probably very familiar with the term ‘Impostor Syndrome.’
The term ‘Impostor Syndrome’ was originally coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes in a study of high achieving women. Clance later described it as the Impostor Phenomenon or Experience – simply because it’s something that most of us experience, have experienced or will experience at some time in our lives!
Here’s their original definition:
‘Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the (IMPOSTOR) syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.’
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been exploring the topic of unhelpful beliefs, stories and scripts.
A few people have asked me why we behave in ways or repeat patterns that actually do us no good at all – and even though we know it, we seem unable to do anything about it.
Last week I wrote about the first step in changing the self-limiting beliefs, scripts and stories that prevent us from being successful in life.
I encouraged you to:
Think about the beliefs you hold that prevent you from being as successful as you like (and to write them down).
I used to have a strong ‘must be polite ’ belief. Of course that serves me well much of the time. But when I first started coaching, it got in the way of me providing challenge and honest feedback.
In this week’s blog I want to talk about the beliefs, stories and scripts that get in the way of effective leadership and make us less focused or successful than we could be.
We often talk about Self Limiting Beliefs, old stories or out-of-date scripts – these can keep us stuck, make us feel helpless or inadequate and frustrated with ourselves – and yet we’re not quite sure how to change things.
Last week I wrote about two key things that will help you be more productive (no fads, apps or shiny new objects).
The problem is, when we can’t see the wood for the trees we…well, we can’t see the wood for the trees! If you keep on doing what you’ve always done……you know the rest.