In this week’s blog I want to talk about the beliefs, stories and scripts that get in the way of effective leadership and make us less focused or successful than we could be.
We often talk about Self Limiting Beliefs, old stories or out-of-date scripts – these can keep us stuck, make us feel helpless or inadequate and frustrated with ourselves – and yet we’re not quite sure how to change things.
Here’s the sort of thing I mean:
I must be….. nice/perfect …… insert your own word here.
I’ll never be as confident/assertive/polished as…….(insert name of person you are putting on a pedestal!)
I’m no good at……..presentations?
I’m not……. Enough. Insert your own words here. Experienced? Clever? Old/Young?
I don’t do conflict
And so on.
If any of these sound familiar, here’s some good news.
A belief is simply a belief. It’s not a fact. And beliefs can be changed.
Once you are aware of these beliefs (because sometimes they are unconscious);
And where they play out and with whom;
And how these beliefs came to be (mostly it comes from messages we got, implicit or explicit when we were growing up and which don’t actually make good sense to us now) –
We can choose to change them.
So this week’s first step is to:
- Think about the beliefs you hold and when they hold you back from the success that you want (and write them down).
Being nice or ‘perfect’ for example is not ‘wrong’, But when we’re ‘too nice’ to deal with poor performers, to challenge the status quo or speak up in a meeting- that can create problems for us and those around us. When our perfectionism means we’re sweating the small stuff and overworking because of our focus on minutiae – that belief becomes problematic for our own health and for those around us.
More of that next time.