The lowest, saddest points of my leadership career were when I felt completely useless – drowning in the detail and floundering like a fish in a shark-infested sea.
I couldn’t hold my own; stand up for what I believed was right for our customers (because other louder voices had another agenda) and flapping and waffling when I had to speak to one of the Executive board. I felt exposed and vulnerable.
The more tired I got, the longer things took and the more mistakes I made.
I wasn’t there for my team as much as I could have been.
When I think about the sort of manager I thought I was, I wanted the ground to swallow me up – shame is such a strong, destructive emotion.
The funny thing was, some years later I got some feedback via Facebook from a couple of my old team that I was ‘the best manager they had ever had’.
The thing is this. I was doing okay. More than okay. I just couldn’t see it.
I was ‘good enough.’
And you know what? You’re doing okay too.
So stop beating yourself up, comparing yourself to others and putting yourself down.
You’re good enough too.